Wow.
I made it.
The first of all the days of the year without her have passed.
I am happy; perhaps the happiest, or at least the most content with myself, I have ever been. She has left me with gifts that are beyond anything I could have ever imagined. The gift of knowing how precious this is. The gift of being able to forget about everything I thought was stressful. The gift of sharing it all. The little angel I have on my shoulder and the other right down the hall sleeping blissfully....
Not a day has gone by without thinking of what I had. But I am so grateful for what I have and how my experience has helped me grow into the person I am today. I only wish Amanda knew the new me and how much of a role she played in what I am becoming. I am eternally grateful for the people in my life who have stood by me. I am really excited about the new people entering my life who are giving me hope...
Randomly, the only tv show I watch is 24, last night on 24 - at the end, Jack's girlfriend is killed. He lost his wife in the first season of the show. Anyway, I watched as the doctor came out of the operating room - Jack looked up and the doctor didnt need to say a thing. I flashed right back to that moment that was my reality....when the doctor walked in and didnt need to say a thing... Jack walked in to the room where his love was, as I did....he cried, he gave her a kiss...as I did. Excepy this isn't a tv show or movie.
Last night I cried for the first time in a really long time.
No comments:
Post a Comment