Haven't posted in a long while but I thought I would today for the six month mark of Amanda passing away. I think about her all the time. I try not to drive myself nuts anymore by dwelling on her death like I did for so long. It sucks, yes. Worst thing in the world for me, yes. Nothing I can do to change it, correct. She wouldn't want me to be miserable like that. And I dont want to feel like that forever. For sure the hardest and darkest six months of my life. I've never felt such intense feelings of loss and such disinterest in pretty much everything. I hope things improve from here - I have a somewhat better outlook now. Still lots of grief to deal with and lots of awkward moments. Lots of secondary losses pouring in - ie symbolic losses, changed and lost relationships, etc which developed as a consquence of her death. Day at a time~
Gianna Rose is 7 months old and a little over 15lbs. She eats what seems like as much as me - she really really loves food. There isnt one thing she has tasted that she hasnt "demanded" more of...
She's starting to "chat" a lot more frequently and her pretty smile and gorgeous blue eyes always put a smirk on my face; just like Amanda used to...
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